A younger man’s heavily pursuing me – he’s super-hot but with a decade between us, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea, writes Notebook columnist Melanie Blake
Image: melanie blake)
Last month, I turned 45 and although I don’t really celebrate birthdays (I didn’t even bother doing anything for my 40th) this one happened to fall on the day of a book festival where I was invited to meet fans of my novel, Ruthless Women, and appear on the main stage to talk alongside lots of authors who are far better known than me.
Being at such a high-profile event made me forget that it was my birthday and I really, really loved meeting the people who read the books that for me, as a dyslexic, are so hard to write.
But in the past few weeks my age has suddenly come to the forefront of my mind because I’ve met a younger man – about a decade younger, to be precise – and believe it or not, considering the many dating tales that I’ve told you on this page, I’ve never actually gone out with anyone younger than me. They were always usually three to five years older, which made me the “young one”.
I’m not going to go into too much detail as it’s very early days and he’s probably reading this, and I’m not taking it too seriously because of the age gap. But this week I’m going to be asking you for advice. What do you think I should do? Should I ignore the age gap or could it only lead to trouble?
Right now it’s casual and with my schedule being so busy finishing my new book, which is out next April, there isn’t much time to meet up anyway, which is keeping things at a safe distance. But as this is my first experience of an age-gap connection, I’m wondering what the general consensus is?
When we are together we don’t look any different in age. He works in renovation and house restoration, something I also do in my spare time (I’ve flipped more houses than I have pancakes) so we have plenty in common and I don’t feel like there’s a difference – plus, I don’t feel like I’m 45, whatever 45 feels like.
Yet there is a niggling feeling in the back of my head. What if by some chance it was to turn into something serious and a few years down the line I was in love (which we all know is a dangerous place to be)? He could suddenly decide he wants children and to start a family – and I’ve definitely missed that window. Would the devastation be worse to get over at an older age?
Say I was then 50 – would it mean that I would no longer fancy older men if I’d got used to a younger one? Would I be destined to live the life of a cougar, always searching for that younger man who you could always get but probably couldn’t keep?
I have so many questions! Looking around, there are so few older women and younger men relationships in the media that seemed to have worked. After Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher, who was 15 years younger, she eventually found out he was cheating on her with a woman half her age and has never seemed to be romantically linked with anyone since. That’s a worry, as I can only think of a handful of successes.
They include the late, great Dame Barbara Windsor and her husband Scott, 27 years apart, and ever-fabulous Joan Collins and Percy, who is 31 years her junior.
But on a positive note, just recently, the lovely Kym Marsh married Scott Ratcliff, who is 10 years younger than her, so maybe there is hope for a “May To December” relationship after all.
Like I said earlier, I’d really welcome your advice this week on whether it’s a wise move on my part to pursue it…
Love, Melanie xxx
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